Bree!

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have been together a whopping two months now, so it's high time the less-attractive Madden twin (shut it, you know Joel is hotter) should pen a love song for his celebutante girlfriend. And he did.

The tune, according to People.com, is called "Shine Your Light."

"He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio. He surprised me with it. It's this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me," Hilton gushed.

Dying to hear B. Madden's creation? Well, our crack team of snoops** here at Buzznet collected soiled cocktail napkins from the man's Louis Vuitton trash bags, so here are some plausible lyrical drafts.***

"Oh I've never met a girl with your IQ
Dumb to start with, but now your even more.
And I don't have to see your privates
Cos I've seen them on the Net before ...
One night in Paris?
Well I would like two or three
I can half of your inheritance
Because baby, that's hot to me ..."
(submitted by Hyperballad13)

"Without you my life is hell
Will you love me like you did Tinkerbell?
When you talk, I can't always listen
And sometimes you fool with my night vision.
I might sometimes need a day off like Ferris,
but I'll always come back to nights in Paris.
You're my fluffy, pink girl with no limits
who's making the most of her 15 minutes."
(Submitted by newageamazon)

**Creative writers, actually
***WE TOTALLY MADE THESE UP.